Thursday, 10 April 2008

It's That Time

This is the first week that I haven't spoken to him at least four times since I left him on Sunday and although I'm not pining it is annoying the hell out of me that I can't contact him until Friday night. Not that I have anyting to say, just the fact that I don't have the option to not say anything.
I've restrained myself and only sent two emails. One on Monday and one this evening. But I feel so down at the moment.

I hate female hormones they suck!

After spending the day feeling really rough and just wanted to snuggled down into bed regardless of the fact that I was wide-awake, I came home to listen to my daily installment of reminders and just felt bitter and annoyed. I don't care at this moment if I never speak to him again just for the pure fact that I can't right now. And I want him not to come on Saturday so that I can be annoyed with him for a reason but at the same time I want with all my heart for him to come here. I think I would feel thoroughly let down if he says no. But now - I want to be able to scream and cry at someone or something. I want to be in his arms and weeping against his chest as he holds my head for no apperent reason.

Oh yeah, and I have broken my PC. Clever little thing I am! Pulled the plug on it so I don't even have anything to entertain me and divert my attention when I go to bed now other than old kids films which keep me awake. Oh for goodness sake. Why did I take a break. I should have just carried on through the cylce and then all this would be slightly better.

I wish I was having an argument with my mother right now. I would feel so much better for it I am sure. And I have plenty of pent up frustration for her. Oh my goodness get a grip on yourself you pathetic female and just go to bed or eat some bloody chocolate. If you were even hungry which you aren't. Grrrr