This is the first week that I haven't spoken to him at least four times since I left him on Sunday and although I'm not pining it is annoying the hell out of me that I can't contact him until Friday night. Not that I have anyting to say, just the fact that I don't have the option to not say anything.
I've restrained myself and only sent two emails. One on Monday and one this evening. But I feel so down at the moment.
I hate female hormones they suck!
After spending the day feeling really rough and just wanted to snuggled down into bed regardless of the fact that I was wide-awake, I came home to listen to my daily installment of reminders and just felt bitter and annoyed. I don't care at this moment if I never speak to him again just for the pure fact that I can't right now. And I want him not to come on Saturday so that I can be annoyed with him for a reason but at the same time I want with all my heart for him to come here. I think I would feel thoroughly let down if he says no. But now - I want to be able to scream and cry at someone or something. I want to be in his arms and weeping against his chest as he holds my head for no apperent reason.
Oh yeah, and I have broken my PC. Clever little thing I am! Pulled the plug on it so I don't even have anything to entertain me and divert my attention when I go to bed now other than old kids films which keep me awake. Oh for goodness sake. Why did I take a break. I should have just carried on through the cylce and then all this would be slightly better.
I wish I was having an argument with my mother right now. I would feel so much better for it I am sure. And I have plenty of pent up frustration for her. Oh my goodness get a grip on yourself you pathetic female and just go to bed or eat some bloody chocolate. If you were even hungry which you aren't. Grrrr
Thursday 10 April 2008
It's That Time
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