Sunday, 8 July 2007


She was waiting at the station
He was getting off the train
He didn't have a ticket so he had to bum through the barriers again.
Well the ticket inspector saw him rushing through
He said girl you don't know how much I missed you but
We'd better run cos' I haven't got the funds to pay this fine.
She said fine.

Well so they ran out of the station and jumped onto a bus With two of yesterdays travel cards and two bottles of Bud,
And he said you look well nice.
Well she was wearing a skirt
And he thought she looked nice
And yeah, she didnt really care about anything else
Because she only wanted him to think that she looked nice,
And he did.

But he was looking at her, yeah all funny in the eye.
She said come on boy tell me what your thinking,
Now dont be shy.
He said alright, I'll try.
All the stars up in the sky and the leaves in the trees,
All the broken bits that make you trip up and grassy bits in between.
All the matter in the world is how much I like you.

She said what?
He said let me try and explain again.

Right, birds can fly so high, or they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right birds can fly so high or they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel well scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Yeah thats how i feel about you

She said what?
He said you.
She said what are you talking about?
He said you.

Right birds can fly so high or they can shit on your head
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right birds can fly so high or they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel well scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right, thats how i feel about you.

She said thanks, I like you too.
He said cool.

You may not like her as a singer, but these lyrics are cute and so normal - I guess she makes everything like that, but these words were just ones I quite like!

The song is on my MySpace profile if you want to check it out.

(purposefully not mentioned the singer to eliminate pre-judgment)

Catch Up!

OK, so this week has been fairly busy and quite a productive one as far as holiday weeks go.

The main thing this week was being with friends and rebuilding relationships. Not necessarily because of anything bad, but just catching up and doing what we do best! So it all started on Monday morning when DeeJay and Liz came over early in the morning followed by Tom and Cece in the afternoon. We sat and watched a couple of films and had general chat about random anything and everything. Then headed into the city centre for a staff meeting (for me and DeeJay anyway) where we met Anita and said farewell to Tom. After a very short meeting DeeJay, Liz, Cece, Anita and myself went to Pizza Express for dinner then over to the Xscape to watch Oceans 13 which was really good and rather funny. I’m glad I haven’t seen the second one as I think it would have ruined the third for me.

The next day I bummed around the house and sat for a few hours going through old pictures with my sister Kat form when we were kids. It was weird hearing her talk about me as a child and her being really sisterly. She never used to be, it’s weird having her grown-up but really good too. I guess I’m slowly growing-up and changing too. I like this time in life – it’s very good. We just enjoyed a sisterly day. Then I went into the centre in the evening for a meal with my Church friends as it was one of their birthdays. Back at Pizza Express again but in a completely different vibe with some good stories and anecdotes being told, and made I’m sure.

Wednesday was our London trip day. DeeJay and Liz came to mine around 11am where we sat and chatted and chilled for a bit. Then, just before 1 Liz drove down to her physiotherapy with me and DeeJay waiting in her car, listening to music and pissing about. She was barely in there anytime though, and when she came out again she said hello to me through the window and scared the crap out of me. In turn I rattled Liz and DeeJay with my scream. Obviously I wasn’t expecting her to turn up outside the window as my head was turned away from it!

After this Liz drove down to Cece’s to pick her up and then we went back to Liz’s for half an hour or so. We were then dropped at the train station by her dad and we headed off to London. The train ride allowed for may picture poses and the usual random conversation. We arrived at Euston around 3.40pm and headed off to China Town for some lunch/dinner. Then we wondered around London for about three hours.

OK, I should probably mention that we went to London to see Avenue Q at the Noel Coward Theatre on St Martin’s Lane.

So we eventually got to theatre, had a drink in a pub over the road from it beforehand. Then went in and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that much for that long in my life! It was fantastic. The humour was just perfect for me, and I was in hysterics the whole way through it, even when other people weren’t I’d let out a little giggle. The others certainly enjoyed it too; it was good to do something like that with them. We got back into MK around midnight.

When I got home Kat text me and we lay in her bed and watched Shaun of the Dead. It was nice to just spend time with her like that – we used to do it when we were younger – sleep in each others rooms for a couple of hours anyway. Just lie and chat! It’s good to get back to the roots like that again.

Thursday I did very little. I had work in the evening with Kate. It was good to work with her on a close. I’ve never done that before. Got to have a good gossip with her and catch up on what’s been going on. Nothing interesting happened at work really, it was pretty dead all night.

Friday was the big day! I met up with Katy at about 2pm in the city centre as I was to join her and her family for a meal, an early celebration for her 18th. We went back to hers and had a long chat and just chilled for a few hours. Then Kates, Amy (her sister) and I got ready for going out. Katy and I were going on to Revs after the meal to meet Phil and his friends. Little did she know we were actually going to the Irish Centre for the majority of the night. After the meal Katy’s mum told us we were going to see her Nan and Granddad who were at the Irish Centre.

When we arrived, we sent Katy in first to see the surprise gathering of friends and family. Her face was priceless. She was actually speechless, which is nothing like Katy! I was very glad to be there as well, as Tom and Teighlor were there, the first time I met her. She is something else. She is just amazing! I spent moist of the night dancing with her and Cece. Everyone danced that night actually which was really good as usually there are a few party poopers there. We all left at a bout 12.15am and headed back to mine mostly. Celia and I both went out like lamps.

We were all up at around 8.40am the next morning as DeeJay had to go to work for 10am. Liz took DeeJay into work and Celia home, they left at about 9.40am. I went and cleared my room and aired my room out a bit. Then went and got ready for work. I had a bit of a spat with my parents over lifts and stuff as I had to ask them to pick up a friend after work. I really wanted to turn around and tell them that if they just sorted out the insurance already, I could do it myself. It’s been over two weeks since I past my driving test and driven in general. It’s making me mad! There’s no reason for it not to have been done already! Anyway, I’m not going off on one AGAIN about this.

After work (which was dead yet again and pretty eventless) Dad picked me up, we went home, had dinner, then drove to Roade (a 15min drive up the A5) and picked up Audrey from her Gran’s. This was the first time I’d seen either of them in about 8/9 years. It was so good to see her again.

When we got back to MK, we sorted some bits out and then went into the centre and met some of my friends at Old Wetherspoons. We were only there for 3hours or so and Audrey seemed to enjoy herself. We had a couple of drinks, but it was just good to sit around and chat with everyone like that. The girls/guys really took to Audrey so it was nice to just be where it was quiet for a change. It was also the last chance to see Anita before she headed off to HK for a month. =(

When we got back to mine Audrey and I sat and looked at pictures of her family and her home in the Philippines. She is a very privileged girl I must say. Although she does miss Manila a lot – her family have moved back to England for a bit and then they’ll head off somewhere else, maybe stay here even. It’s all up in the air at the moment. But, Audrey will be around soon as she is going to Uni next year. Hopefully though, her gap year will keep her in the UK.

We went shopping today for shoes. It was a good day, the shops were quite empty which gave us plenty of time to browse. We both ended up with some earrings – I absolutely love mine – and two pairs of shoes. One pair Audrey ended up with were awesome, these grey stilettos with a little strap going across the bridge/arch of the foot with closed toe and heel. They were just gorgeous.

Dad picked us up from the shops and we dropped Audrey back at her Gran’s. I’m not sure when I’ll get to see her next. She may come up to London on Wednesday when I’m there, so we’ll just see what happens. The rest of today has just been a bit non-plus; just mooching about really. Should have a good week coming up though!

Monday, 2 July 2007

Words to Win My Heart

These are the words I want repeated over and over before sleep! The most beautiful poems I have come across so far in life.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,
- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears of all my life! -
And, if God choose
I shall but love thee better after death."

~ "How do I love thee?" by Elizabeth Barrett-Browning

"Shall I compare thee to summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May.
And summers lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By source or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe and eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

~ "Sonnet XVIII" by William Shakespeare

Sunday, 1 July 2007

What A Mess

Well, my face, hair and room anyway.

I had the worse start to the best week. Having everything revolve around prom, waking up with an extra spot each morning leading up to Thursday 28th June was not very good. But nevertheless I managed to have a full and fun week.

On the Monday I had a day of clearing mine and my sister's room as she was moving back in on Tuesday. I went into school in the afternoon around 3pm to meet DeeJay, Liz and Celia. It was the girls’ last exam and so we decided to all go out and celebrate the summer starting fully with all of us together. I dumped three bags of folders into school and then went and sat with DeeJay in our library place. The last time we would ever be doing that. Mrs Manley offered to have out names written on the table as we technically own it. Our group of friends always spent frees on a corner table. No one else ever used it when we were around! Ah I will miss these little things. Around 3.20pm DeeJay and myself went and met the girls from their English exam and went into the city centre for a Starbucks.

Tuesday, I had a girls day with Celia, Liz and Katy all coming over. We sat around the house chatting and just reminiscing over the old days. It was really nice to just relax with them actually. Kates left to collect her stuff to stay over mine. Liz went home around 4pm as she had gymnastics then Kates turned back up at the house around 6pm. We all just chilled out looking over old pictures and stuff from Year 11 and 12. It was really funny remembering how we all met and stuff. Always feels good top dig around the memory box.

Wednesday was woken at 9am by Katy turning up at the house (she had stayed over Phil’s). We sat in the kitchen and had a drink. Then sat and gossiped and did the usual girlie thing until 1pm when Liz came to pick me up. We went into Bletchley, dropping Katy off at home and then heading into Central Bletchley. Liz and I had some lunch then went to the hairdressers where I got my new cut. It’s so different to usual, but I quite like it. After that was done we headed back down the high street in the rain to fond a boutonnière for Liz to give to DeeJay for prom. Luckily the first florist did this at an incredibly good price, so Liz put in the order and we headed back to the car.
Liz dropped me home and we sat chatting in the car about prom and stuff. then went back to hers. The rest of the day was nothing special.

Thursday was the big day! I was up and out of the house by 10am. I went to DeeJay’s, being greeted by Tita Ellen in her dressing gown. I think I arrived a bit too early. DeeJay was still in bed so I went up and woke him. I gave him quite a shock. He sat for a couple of minutes sitting bolt upright in silence staring at me before he clicked and told me I was late! Hehehee
We went and met Kate in a park to pick some bits up form her for that night. DeeJay took his new camera with him and we sat playing on the swings and see-saw for 20mins whilst waiting for Kate to arrive. It reminded me of how cool childhood is. Oh the simplicity of it all.
We went back to his and I was shown the world of Ben Folds Five, DeeJay’s favourite band and now a top one for me too. I have been introduced into the complexities of three incredibly talented males. It’s a real shame that they split before I even discovered them. But the music is still all available so I shall be enjoying there music over the summer for sure.

At 1.30om I left DeeJay’s and went into Bletchley to pick up some extra prom bits and the boutonnière for Liz. I then had to rush back home to pick up my prom invitation and a couple of other bits too. Then it was into the city to meet Celia. She looked stunning when I met her. She had just had her make-up done at Mac for the prom and it was perfect. She’d also had her hair done that morning which was amazing! We went and picked up my jewellery and Celia’s last prom piece. We then rushed back to hers, picked up her dress and other bits and got a taxi up to DeeJay’s where Marshall, Liz, Tom and Pete were relaxing before the limo.

It was about 4.45pm when we arrived at DeeJay’s. We had until 6.30pm to get ready for that night which we spent well. Liz did my hair and make-up; I did her back (cover-ups on tan-lines which I probably could have done with too). We were the last one’s ready and came downstairs about 6pm to take pictures with the guys. Tita Ellen gave us all a glass of red wine whilst we waited. I downed a second before the limo arrived and we all went out about 6.40pm.

The limo attracted the scary neighbours in Fullers Slade and it felt like we were celebrities or something. The driver got out the red carpet and we all had out photo taken as we went into the limo and as a group outside the limo too. As we piled in, we found that there was a bottle of champagne ready with glasses and three screens which allowed us to watch music videos, play karaoke and play PlayStation games. It was pretty damn awesome and we have Celia to thank for it.

After popping open the bubbly, Pete passed the bottle for me to pour (not a good idea) as I poured it perfectly until I managed to overflow and pour about a glasses worth in my dress. Eeeek. Luckily it was the 8th glass and there were only 7 of us. Oh, and champagne doesn’t stain either when your clothing is dark. We sang some karaoke on the way to the Holiday Inn, formerly the Marriott Courtyard.

We were the only group with a limo apparently. I was already tipsy *coughs* by the time we arrived, and managed to see people when we went in. Okay, so Dale and Chris were meeting and greeting. Then Miss Green and Miss Naylor were just inside taking pictures of us all. I went ahead of the group and saw the prom committee girls, Cla, Lorna, Lizi, Lisa and Sophie. Got my glass of Bucks Fizz and then wondered aimlessly for a bit. I took some pictures with people as I saw them and then went back to find my group. On the way up I met Katy and Phil.
The seven of us (being DeeJay, Liz, Celia, Marshall, Pete, Tom and myself) went to go and get out professional picture done. The final choice was odd, but very good, and we were all pleased with it! I think anyway.

Other stuff happened, then we went into the dining hall and were seated. We had our meals serves (I barely ate, as the other girls too) and at some point during this I found some other friends arriving at the table or going to theirs. And then somehow got to the toilets which I don’t remember happening. Took some more pictures in there and then went back to the Dining Hall. After the meals had been finished and cleared away, the awards started.

Everyone who we all said was going to win the various awards did. Naomi Manley and Ben Van Leuven winning best dressed; Katy – Teenage Drama Queen; Jake McInnes – Boozy Floozy; Me – Oops I Did It Again (accident prone apparently); Jail Bird – Chris Ormonde (possibly, I don’t remember); various other awards were won; Rebel without a Reason – Ben Van Leuven; Vintage Wine – Me (not sure why or what the award was for I was just happy to walk away with free wine!).

We then had the disco bit, some good songs were played and most people got up and danced. Including teachers, which was really good fun. They were all so far gone by this stage so it was quite amusing. After a long time (I had no concept on time do I’ll guess at 2 and a half hours) the limo came and picked us up, exchanging Tom for Mark as Tom is saving monies for Teighlor who is coming on Thursday (WOOP WOOP).

We were meant to have an hour’s drive around MK but opted out of this and went to DeeJay’s for us to pick up everything, then mine to drop it all off (as this was where we all stayed the next morning – bar Mark) and then finally ended at the Point where we spent the nest 3 hours. Nexus was fairly busy, with most of the year there. Pete had gone to Oceana instead, but ended up walking over to Nexus as he couldn’t get in.

It was really good to be back there again. I didn’t really spend much time with the group once there. Well, Cece and Liz I danced with a few times but Celia hooked up with Nat once there and Liz and Lizi stayed together, well mingled with others too really. Kates was there so we jived for a bit. I actually managed to get around most of the year that were there which was really good. It was probably the last time I see a lot of them so I’m glad I didn’t waste that time.

I vaguely remember the end of the night where I was being attacked by people. I know Pete and DeeJay were involved. Okay. So let’s explain this properly. A song came on and Pete made a jolt with his hand in my face and loud noises and it scared me; so a few of them did this for a little bit whilst I cowered and screamed in my seat. They are such lovely friends to have!

We left Nexus just after 3am and walked over to the Xscape to meet some of Pete’s friends there. A guy called Calvin who outs Pete to shame. Well, that is what DeeJay said. Personally I would say he puts Pete’s dancing skills pail into insignificance as Calvin is little less than fudging awe-inspiring. We eventually left for mine at about 4am.
Once home us girls went straight to bed after I set up the sleeping arrangements for the guys downstairs. Then we lay awake in my room listening to the guys running around and laughing and chatting quite loudly! Hahahaa, they are such kids, quite a musing to listen to. Especially when I remembered that my phone was downstairs and the alarm was set for 6am (about an hour after they finally went to sleep). Ah the joys of being “in-the-know”.

Us girls got up at about 8.30am/9am and went and woke the boys. The poor things were knackered. We just sat on the couch and in the bed downstairs chatting and being lazy. We had tea/coffee and biscuits. Liz and I opted for the best choice having bug mugs of coffee with shots of Kahlua as a wake-up which worked rather well.

We moped about for a few hours. Pete and Marshall left at about 1pm. Then Dad came home offered us sausage sandwiches but none of us were up to eating yet. At 2.30pm Liz’s dad picked her up and then the three of us left there got ready and then headed into the centre. DeeJay went straight home from there whilst em and Cece went to have some breakfast/lunch/recovery food in McDonald's. I then went to work and Celia walked home.

Mum picked me up from work at 8pm and had a weird angry outburst at me ending with her crying and then suddenly switching to a jolly “So how was work?”

I seriously worry about her sometimes. And I mean that with the utmost sincerity. She has been so weird these past few months. She’ll be really grumpy, angry and feeling sorry for herself and then will be really cool and fine for a bit. I’m not sure what’s wrong with her. Something has happened though. I wonder if she doubts her marriage and family-life sometimes. Though it’s probably just me over-thinking it.

I spoke to Pam (my Dad’s sister) about it and she agreed with me but is more concerned with my Dad. I feel incredibly sorry for him. He just constantly gets it in the neck from her. I spoke to him on Saturday evening when it was just the two of us, and he said she’s just been dodgy recently, but I know he’s more worried than he lets on. I wish he would open up sometimes, but I know that just isn’t him and never will be no matter how hard I try.

On Saturday, Mum, Dad and I joined the AFC congregation on a trip to Guilford. We spent the day in the pouring rain, on a muddy estate (Wintershall Estate), following the life of Christ. It was a drama performed by amateur actors from around Guilford. They staged it all outdoors with the audience following them around the fields for each Act and different scenes.

I really enjoyed it; in fact it had been my idea to get Mum and Dad to come with me. I got to walk around with my jeans rolled up to my knees and barefooted. Warm, wet, squelchy mud feels fantastic on the feet. It was so good. It was really well performed as well, staged and directed. We started the day at 5.30am getting to Church at 7.30am then joining the rest of the group on the coach arriving in Guilford for 10am. We left at 5pm and got home at 7pm which wasn’t bad going. Baths were certainly in order after that day!

Today was just a normal Sunday. Except I went into the city with Mum. I went and saw Georgia, Jen N, DeeJay, Vickie and Rob at work, then went an exchanged a top that Pam got me. Then Mum and I went to Starbucks for a chill-out. She was in her “bonding” mood today. She decided to tell me I should go no the pill and that I needed to spend some time with Kat. I haven’t spoken to her since she came back, which she mentioned to Mum. It’s actually really weird, but I guess sisters grow apart when they aren’t around each other; and living together again after four years of us both growing-up separately really does change things between us.

Oh well! I have the rest of the summer if needs be.

But this week ahead is devoted to friends again!