Monday, 21 April 2008

69 over 420!?

I was so worried about this weekend not being quite as good as they have been previously. I think I have just got myself into thinking this just to make it all the better. But I truly convince myself that I will be disappointed. And it felt more real than ever on Saturday.

I went up to Coventry in the afternoon with Liz and DeeJay as it was her turn to go up there and we had gone for lunch with Tom ealier to celebrate Liz and Tom's birthday. It was a good way to start the day actually. I felt relaxed and happy with home-life and knew I was getting a free-ride up to see Jérémie which is never a bad thing. But when we got there he didn't answer his buzzer quite as quickly as I probably was willing to wait, so I went up to DeeJay's and sat smoking with Liz and him for a bit. Then messaged Jérémie to let him know I was there and went down to see him. I was really worried he had gone out or had decided against me or something. I think I still find it hard to believe that I'm with him in anyway let alone this way.

But as soon as I saw him I got that little flutter and just slotted back into the routine. We watched a pretty cool film recommended by DeeJay and Liz "The Science of Sleep". And for what I actually watched of was good. Though I think that's another good movie I will have to watch again. He is a frisky guy and regardless of what is on the screen he knows what he prefers I guess. Hehee

We went to bed really early again this week but neither of us slept we just lay there in silence. It was the strangest thing. Then about an hour later I got up and he seemed really worried about where I was going. I think toilet breaks need to be before bedtime as it always worries him. Though it still makes me laugh and is good ammunition to wind him up just a little. I barely slept that night, I think it was because of how we slept just next to each other - i cocooned myself in his blanket leaving him the duvet, which I don't think he was too keen on as he kept trying to hold me but I was pretty much stuck in one position - flat on my back and fully covered!

Sunday morning/afternoon was very lazy. Jérémie claimed he would get up earlier than me to do his revision and prep work for his finals, which was fine by me, but he did nothing of the sort. I didn't even interfere with his concentration either! But he clearly didn't feel in the right frame of mind to be working. So after making me a very nice lunch we watched "The Simpsons" in french. It is the weirdest thing to watch in another language. You get so used to the characters voices that the accent change just freaks me out. As it was 4/20 on Sunday Liz and DeeJay invited us to spark up with them in celebration. So at about 1.30 I went and got washed and the rest didn't quite pan out how I planned. Thinking coming back in a towel would hint at Jérémie going in for shower it just ended in implying something else. 69 took-over and we missed 4/20 for it. But I must say it was totally worth it apart from needing another shower afterwards and messing my hair. Seriously, wet hair drying when you're doing "that" is not recommended. lol

We went up to DeeJay's a bit before 5 and enjoyed some 4/20 celebrations but left about an hour later. I intended on leaving at 6pm but eneded up lying across Jérémie's legs as we reminisced about out childhoods. I love just lying and talking with him, and listening to his stories. He always shocks me with what he says. I find some of it hard to believe, and some of it just creases me. I wish those weekends could last forever but alas they never do. So we walked down to that taxi rank where I had the strangest goodbye. A kiss followed by a childish protesting moan from me, him leaning in for another kiss and me backing out holding his hand amd then walking away. His parting words "I want to see you cross the road safely". More than ever I wish I didn't have to leave as it will be two more weeks before I see him again and communication will be small until the presentation is over tomorrow and still less than usual as he has to prepare for his finals. However much I wish I could be with him at the weekend coming I know his finals are very much so the most important thing for him as they would be for me.

Ay nako - this will be a hard 12 days that lay ahead of me. But I must watch myself as the conversations I've had with him make me know that I can't expect much out of this. It isn't fair on either of us as his home is France and he is at a pinnacle point in his life as I will be in mine shortly. But, i can't always help myself from falling.