If You Were In My Boots.

I've just read over my last post on here. And I am rather glad I did as I am going to see Jérémie for the first time in over year this Saturday. Well that is the plan. Though I'm not sure whether it will have to be re-arranged or not as we both have work things going on. Just see what comes of it I guess.

I have spent the last week or so talking to friends and asking them if they can remember why I hated him so much. Not hated, that is far too strong a word. But, there was something rather bitter and unsettled about the whole thing that I couldn't put my finger on. That was a nice refresher as neither I or my friends could remember what he'd done, consciously or not. Thank goodness I am over all of that now.

I seem to have a habit of getting involved with guys who I really shouldn't. Actually, no! That isn't true at all. I just get carried away with things a bit too much. That's the reality of it. James and Shaun are key examples of how I let myself get carried away. Thank goodness I can learn from my experiences. For the record, I don't regret a single thing. What is the point in regretting things when you can't change any of it. And even if I could, I certainly wouldn't, because everything leads on from something else and who knows what I would have missed out on. I'd rather not risk thinking and just keeping living for the now and next. So now I have to remember how to move on from the last guys. Although it is on a totally different level, different circumstances entirely.

Let's just say this...sleeping with 2 best mates is a bad idea. Especially when they have been best mates since they were about 5. I mean honestly...what possesses a girl to think that is a good idea? Throw a little extra into the mix...you met these boys in a bar with your best-mate and she kinda fancied one of them. Now, let us see this again. The boy who you like was sober when you met him, but you were rather wasted. His mate and your mate were both wasted. They exchanged numbers so the lads could come back to yours. After they leave yours, your mate gets a text from the lad asking if his mate can have your number. Thinking nothing of it, you agree. This guy texts you almost immediately and you end up talking to him almost on a daily basis. Flirting is to a max yet you do not see him again for another six weeks. And in this time you have gone home for three weeks, he has invited you to his birthday night out and you have agreed. But at the same time, his mate has started talking to you a fair amount too however is no longer in contact with your best mate. So you think it is best not to mention he is in contact though conversations are totally kosher and you fancy the other one. Then one day the lad you fancies' best mate asks if you fancy a threesome when you get back. Little bit of a shocker but you're always up for new games. But you think, who is the third part of this ménage à trois? First thoughts...the guy you fancy. If his best mate is going down this route you are going to get the best deal.
So a week after you get back, a shocking performance at the birthday night out (in which you realise the one you don't fancy is more worthwhile) the two lads come over and the games begin. The next six weeks are rather bizarre as you have slept with two guys who are best mates and have never been in that situation before as far as you know. The one you don't fancy has taken to you as being his booty call and for the next four weeks, whenever he goes out you get a call or a text to see if he can come round. Not quite what you were hoping the outcome would be of the night. But you know how to deal with this guy and it is just a game to you. Nothing happens. Then you make the choice to one night invite him out since the one you like isn't making any moves. The invitation is accepted. He turns up with two friends (who it turns out you have met before at the birthday night) and you realise, he is a damn good kisser. He wants you to join him and his mates later and you say yes, but play him a bit and make a point of having your night out with everyone not ruined. By the end of the night you have had a bit much of how needy and pushy he has almost been. So he says he wants to leave and asks for your keys. Clearly you say, no. Then, 20 minutes later your best mate has gone home a little more than annoyed and you are stumbling back to your flat. When you get there, there is a little surprise in the shape of three guys waiting at the main door for you. Well, since they have made the effort you take them back in and up with you. Not the best idea in the world, but you think you can handle the whole thing well enough. Things start going in the wrong direction, you get caught up in the moment a bit and then remember yourself and stop it all. The guys leave, although there is a bit of a spat and you aren't feeling to chipper when they leave.
Next day you get a text from the guy you fancy saying "Heard you saw 'the best-mate' last night'" which you reply to with, "Yeah, saw him when I was out with the girls and flat". That is that. But a few days later when you are talking to the one you fancy he asks you what happened with the other guy the other night. Well, tell him the truth as you don't know what he's been told already. It isn't a pretty story as his best mate came kind of close to forcing himself on you that night which is why you weren't too happy. Clearly the story is a bit of a shock but you only tell the facts and that is it. Regardless of what happened though he has still be calling/texting when he wants a bit if you. You have mostly gotten over the whole incident anyway. You were very drunk that night after all, and you did lead him on with foreplay so not so much of a surprise what happened happened.
Things carry on for a week or so, then you have an argument with the guy you fancy. Well, not so much as an argument as you aren't quite sure what is going on any more. But things aren't exactly peachy. The day of your last exam you get a text from the other guy (the one who you don't fancy as much now) asking if you want to go round to his. Well, it is your last day and you think you may as well make the most of it. So you go round to see him, you have some fun with him, then you go back to yours and carry on your merry little way. The next day you are in the van on your way home and you get a text from the one you still fancy and leave it until you get home so you can have a full conversation after what happened last time you spoke properly. In the middle of a perfectly normal chat he suddenly asks how his best friend is, "I wouldn't know I haven't seen or spoken to him today, I was moving back home with my Dad. I'm assuming he's still alive" His response to you "How's his nob". What a grown-up thing to say. Your answer "Like I said, haven't seen or spoken to him today. I'm assuming it's still attached." Which he replies to with "Hahahahaaa" And there we have it. The childish response from a guy who doesn't have the balls to meet you if his best mate isn't there; who won't tell you how he feels regardless of the fact that you have openly told him how you feel; who flirts with you and makes out as though he likes you.

Well done. Well done, you did it again. Found those guys. Enjoy 2 and a half months away from that!

Oh yes, and remember the one you've slept with more than once. That's right the one who you didn't even fancy that much (though now you are having second thoughts) will be living three minutes from your new house, on the other side of the park. Enjoy your time away!