Thursday, 27 March 2008

Une Langue DIfferent

It has been a while since I have felt this content. Considering there are really big reasons for why I shouldn't be, if it wasn't for a few special people, I surprisingly feel the happiest I have in ages.

I think the main thing is the fact that I know my future is sorted as far as it ever will be. And that future is something I couldn't be happier about. Being accepted into University of Manchester was something I could not have wanted more. The fact that two of my favourite people and closest and oldest friends are there just makes it all the better.

Well, let me start with what brought me up to this high. At the beginning of March was my best-friend's 19th birthday and he had a house/flat/halls party. Cecilia and I headed on over to Coventry to celebrate in style with him. I'm always so happy to see my beautiful Pops even if it has been a day or two since seeing her. The two of us met at the train station in Coventry and headed over to the halls. Before going to DeeJay's though we decided to go and visit Peter instead. It is rare that I actually speak to him anymore which is weird when I think back to the days when it was an everyday thing. It was really good getting to catch-up with him before the party and to be back to normality with him. He is a funny guy when he wants to be and I do enjoy his company when the timing is right!
Anyway, we headed over to DeeJay's for the party. I'm not sure how many weeks it had been since I'd seen him. Not too long as I recall. Either way it is always a pleasure to see him. The party was pretty darn good as the people there were awesome. Finally getting to meet his housemates and course mates too. Cutting to the chase - I met a guy who lives in the floor below. Jerémie is from France and was really cool. Cece, me, Ko (DeeJay's totally cool flatmate), Chris/Stan and Jerémie were all playing Jenga in the kitchen. I don't think I've ever played that game for so long before. It was freakin' awesome. Anyway, back on track. I gave Jerémie my email (thanks to Cece) since I spent most of the night around him. As soon as I got back home the next day he had added me so we got chatting. And for the past three weeks I have spoken to him near enough every day for about 8 hours. And we haven't come anywhere close to running our of things to say.

Writing about him now I can properly think of all the things I feel. I certainly do fancy him, but for once I am quite happy with being his friend (though I wouldn't say no!). He always make me smile and I am surprised at how much we both laugh when we talk. I don't think I've shut-up about him since I met him either. Which is a first. I usually manage to limit myself but he is all I ever really want to talk about. I've never felt this way about someone before but it isn't lust or love like I have felt for other guys before. It is something new and different. But it makes me smile to think about him, he has given me confidence that I never used to have and I do get that little flutter in my belly when I think about him or when he says some things. Yet, I am not rushing ahead of myself for once.
I have plucked up the courage to go and see him after three weeks and I am nervous but so so excited as well. He makes me feel so totally different and he has put the biggest smile on my face.

There are serious pros to this guy - his voice makes me melt, he has a way with words, he is helping me with my french and me his english, he knows so much and is so amazing. Genuinely the most impressive I have met other than my brother. In fact he is edging ahead of my brother in terms of knowledge, more due to the fact that he uses it.

Well, he has brought a smile back to this girl's face; Cecilia has brought pride back into my heart and joy into my life; DeeJay has brought hope and beauty to my eyes with his own relationship.

OK let's move onto the best-mate then. There have been so many times over the last few months when I have wanted to pour my heart out onto my blog but have hesitated because for once in our long friendship I have been unsure of where I stand, but I saw him alone yesterday, and now I can think more clearly. Since he started dating a mutual good friend of ours I have spent no time alone with him. That is a huge change for us as we were pretty much inseperable on the past few years. I took it surprisingly hard. The silly thing is, I get on incredibly well with his girlfriend, and I have no problems with her as she is one of my closest friends. Which is probably why it's harder as I couldn't lay my finger on how I was feeling. If he was dating a random I know I would be insanely jealous but I know him and Liz well enough to know the difference. I have merely been upset about the fact that my little brother was in love again and I wasn't geographically close enough to fit into the time. Which is no fault of either of us. I understand that him and Liz want to be with each other every waking hour, I'm just used to slipping into the gaps - except they don't seem to exist anymore.

Yesterday I met with him after work and we just chilled out and chatted and I realised for the first time that I don't need to be with him to have our friendship - we aren't needy in that sense and we are close enough that we know that whether we see each other everyday or once a month that we will never change. It is quite something to know that, and to know that we can still talk on the same level even though we are no longer kids. That is the most satisfying and impressive thing I have ever had the pleasure of being able to say about one of my relationships.

Thank you DeeJay for showing and giving me that.