Drama Queen

I really can over dramatise situations at times.

I can't believe how fickle my emotions are too.

I feel like in the last month I have done a lot of growing-up and a lot of reality checks to bring me back. Sarah to earth - I'm coming home!

I've had a whole lot of people come and go and then come back again since I last blogged. My closest friend went to Italy for a week which caused a lot of heartache for me and his "kind-of-not-really-girlfriend". It was really good in a way because the two of us spent a fair bit of time together and just chatting and being girlie and stuff. It was a lot of fun. But I don't think he has ever seen to girls be so ecstatic and over the moon to see him when he returned 8 days later. I swear they were the longest 8 days of my life.

5 days. Everyday I was in work that week I would count down to my colleagues until DeeJay would be home and then Liz and I would work out the hours and try and work out what he was doing in Italy at that moment when we spoke and were together. 4 days to go. We braved it and we went out on the Wednesday night with our other bum buddies from the B6. It was a fairly good night, with Lizi, Katy and Anna joining us. It was amazing to see her again. Anna this is. She went out with an old school friend of mine around christmas time so I haven't seen her since then. She has got to be the most genuinely, lovely, caring, kind, non-judgemental, fun-loving, prettiful, sane but crazy girl I have ever met with THE most beautiful singing voice. I'm not even joking. She has the voice of an angel.

Friendships went on the rockies for a bit but all turned out to be a SHOCKWAVE TESTAMENT for me to realise yet again how truly blessed I am with my friends. A lot has happened but I honestly coudn't sit and re-iterate it all.

The day DeeJay came home my family left for Tuscany (a swap over holiday it seemed) and for the next two weeks I would have another rollercoaster of emotions. Until the Wednesday after their departure I don't think I had anyone over other than my aunt Pam. Although I tend to have a very selective memory.
Anyways - on the Wednesday before results (making it 15th August) I had my closest friends over. Well, those who could make it. As we were all cacking ourselves over results I thought it a good idea to get us all together so that we could take our minds off it or at least get to talk to people who could truly empathise.

We drank and ate and chatted and then went for a walk down to the lake. We sat in the pitch black by the lakeside at 12am and for about 20mins in the freezing cold singing on the benches and pissing about. Unfortunately Tom had an accident. He was running, I told him to stop in case he fell...SURPRISE, SURPRISE he fell and cracked a rib, grazed his head and both his knees, ripped his trousers and incurred upon himself mild concussion. I feel a tad guilty and almost totally responsible for that one. But luckily I provided him with a much needed walking stick. The guilty conscience eased slightly.

Results day was hectic and full of varying emotions. We all got into Uni. I unfortunately seemed to draw the short straw. When I arrived home I phoned my parents in Tuscany to let them know of my results and future Uni plans. My father wasn't too impressed because I didn't achieve all my target grades. I was down one grade for English and so didn't get into my first choice Uni - which I personally knew was going to happen anyway. But with ABB I was fairly impressed considering how shockingly bad I had done during the year in RE. I was told that the outcome was "disappointing" and became rather tearful to say the least. I came off the phone abruptly and decided to phone my brother instead. I had phoned my aunt Pam first off in school and had a very good response from her, but felt I needed some extra family support. My brother was the perfect person for this and I was in tears down the phone to him with all my friends sitting in the room with me at a loss as what to do. It probably wasn't the best reaction for me to have with them around but I was very lucky to have my friends with me really.

After that day (we all went out that night and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Well, the finale was a good one evetually) I spoke to my best-friend and was slightly shocked to hear what he said about my phone call to my brother. I do love them both dearly and they certainly are my two favourite males in existence - Sam and DeeJay. They are both always there for me. In the same way that Pam, Katy, Celia, Tom and Liz are. I Love my parents and sisters dearly and they are rated in my favourite people of all time certainly but I guess I don't fully understand where they're coming from all the time and react in a silly way. But anyway that isn't the point right now.

DeeJay proved how much he means to me. It occurred to me over the past two weeks how close we really are. I don't think I ever have completely been in a negative mood with him. There is always something which pops up to remind me (OK sorry have to point out the sexual innuendo there hehee sorry >_>) what an amazing person he is. In fact I just wrote a huge email to him about it.

I have yet again lost my train of thought which I tend to be doing all too often nowadays.

Anyway I've had an evetful two weeks and prior to that also. My family are now home and there are some awkward moments but in general I'm very happy to see them home again. There isn't much time left with them in this way now, so I guess I should chersih the crappiness and amazingness of homelife.

Nearly There

What a boring few days.

What a terrible way to start anything! Well, there's not much else to say for it. After an amazing weekend I slowly got stuck into my exams again. Monday I had a late start, was absolutely knackered. So after leaving myself an hour to eat breakfast and get washed and dressed (and get a phone call which I thought was to say "You're late for your exam" oh goodness exam anxiety sucks!) I went and had *fingers crossed* my last driving lesson. I went up into the city and didn't stall at the traffic lights AND went into fifth gear properly EVERYTIME today. I can't believe I can actually properly drive now. Well, hopefully.

I met DeeJay and Anita at the centre and we went over to Starbucks, but unfortunately our usual hang-out is closed 'til Monday 25th as it is being refurbished. Liz and Hannah S met us there and the four did some recap media revision. Then off they went to sit their last EVER media exam and I twaddled off to my bus stop.

I got drenched! Luckily I had my umbrella with me, but this only kept my head and shoulders dry. But I can't complain, it made me smile to be in the rain again - plus! it meant I could change into my Jim jams when I got home. Hehehee such a child still.

Tuesday I was up bright and early for school (never again) and sat "revising". Anita's brother kindly dropped us off at school where we met DeeJay and a few hours later, Tom. What a bad idea it was, thinking we would revise! What possessed such ludicrous thoughts is beyond my understanding completely. We went ti the city at 11am and had some lunch there ~ OUCH! to the prices at "The Place to Eat" it certainly didn't leave me feeling that way in the least! It isn't even as if they pay their staff particularly well on that. Liz and Hannah S met us again this time recapping Design over lunch. Back to school for exams, Liz driving us all back to the prison. What a boring yet slightly amusing exam! Luckily my thoughts of a certain person didn't run-a-way with me and I focused my mind on the tasks rather than an odd conversation and some good memories.

Tom, DeeJay and myself attempted to revise Psychology at the library after my exam. With one hour to waste we thought it was a good cram time. Pete was supposed to meet us, but unfortunately I lied to him (better tell it this way otherwise I'll get grief for lying >_>) telling him we would be there 'til 8om even though it closes at 6pm apparently ~ Sorry guys!
He couldn't make it up in time and so after a grand total of 19 minutes, we packed up our stuff and all went home.

I have NEVER felt so sick before. The suspension in the bus was atrocious and accompanied by a throbbing head and sickness from the most charming dinner-conversation, I was ready to hurl when I stepped off. By 6pm I was tucked up in bed with the windows wide open, sunglasses on and eyes closed. Turns out it was pressure from the thunderstorm building up which caused this. I truly do despise the sensitive head I own. If the pressure rises, my head starts thumping!

I woke at 4am this morning after a rather disturbing dream, involving squirrels, bears, ghosts, reality hitting me and a random phone call form my Dad informing me of where his stocking was. I was crapping myself when I woke. Then I realised I hadn't revised for my Psychology which was at 1pm today.

Thank the Lord for the morning. Into school at 7.55am and revising solidly til 8.30am. Then using my exam time to my best advantage. I had to sit three darn hours of General Studies this morning - including a re-sit. Oh yes, a re-sit in General Studies. How shameful on me. Never mind it proved perfect for Psychology revision. 5 pages on one paper were crossed out - filled with OCD, Schizophrenia and Cultural & Gender Bias. The other 3 pages making my first exam. Then 4 pages on Ethical Issues and The Use of Non-Human Animals crossed out, and 4 pages of relevant information made-up the second paper. I was quite impressed with myself. It proved most useful when it came to the 2 hour Psychology paper at 1pm. Who knows how I did. All that matters is that it's over with (until Uni anyway).

Now all that is left is tomorrow. BRING IT OOON! (in a true Joe Swanson styley)

The Break-Up

WOW - What a day!

Did some revision today as I had nothing else planned. Unfortunately I spent most of my free-time catching up with friends and family over Facebook. Oops, but it isn't so bad as I have tomorrow, Saturday morning and Monday! I'm sure it hasn't meant failure is inevitable right?

I got a phone call from Georgia around 10.30am asking to cover her shift at work this evening, which I was more than happy to do, especially since it meant working late night with Jen and DeeJay. If it wasn't for this it would be a full week 'til I'd see DeeJay next and who knows for when I'd see Jen.

In the three hours I had before leaving for work I got some random, boring house chores done and limited amounts of psychology revision ~ though I cleverly stuck notes and posters on the walls of the living room so that it looked like I had been doing much more work when my parents got in! Hehehee I'm a sneaky one at times.

When I got into work, it was to find a dead shop with everyone leaving early. Jen took me to the side when I got down onto shop floor, "I want to talk to you DeeJay later, OK?". Well, I knew exactly what was going to be the talk. Earlier in the week I had got a bit upset when I saw that Jen's relationship status had changed to "just left a relationship". I instantly spoke to DeeJay, really worried and a little upset. I guess I should explain the relationship and background here.

Jen is my supervisor at work who is the loveliest, most caring and fun and talented and beautiful girl you will ever meet. It turned out that she was going out with a guy called Aaron Kendall who went to my school, two years ahead of me, and who I vaguely knew. As time went by I realised she was also friends with some girls who I was also friends with from my school. Jen and Aaron had come and seen a school play I was in with their friends, so it was a nice little common ground there that we shared.
During the holiday season Aaron came and joined the Fat Face team and I got to know him better. DeeJay and I have always been quite close to Jen and so we quickly took to Aaron also making our own little family unit. DeeJay really looking up to Aaron and me, Jen! They were always looking out for us two and having a good time with us and stuff.

Anyway, back to today. I was pottering around in the stock room and stopped for a second. It hit me that when Jen would speak to me, it was going to be like being told by my mum that her and dad were getting a divorce (this hasn't actually happened, I just presume). When I got back downstairs Jen came over and let me know that her and Aaron had indeed decided to take a break from their 2 and half year relationship. We stood and talked over it and she explained why they were doing it and apologised to me. It was so odd, but I don't think I've ever been upset about a break-up like this. I mean, I know I cried when DeeJay and Maye ended, but his was different. It feels so strange to know that they aren't together anymore. Jen even said to me that she felt like a parent telling her children she was getting a divorce. She said that her and Aaron had wanted to sit me and DeeJay down together and tell us properly.

When DeeJay and I left work at 8pm we both gave Jen a hug and had our little moment. As we were walking out both me and DeeJay were feeling quite low. Though I think it DeeJay took it worse than me. I guess I was ready prepared for it, whereas Deej, though he knew about the Facebook thing, didn't think it could be true. I think my surrogate family just had it's first trauma!

I really hope Jen and Aaron are going to be OK. They're still best friends, but I don't think that really makes up for the love they have for one another. They haven't stopped lobing one another or wanting to be around each other. I guess they just need to find themselves properly before they go and add another person to their life permanently like that.

To Jen and Aaron,
You've shared some amazing times and you've made my life so beautiful. You have been my role-models and even now you continue to grow in my respect. Never change!

First Time Cherry Popper

Hi there,

This is the first time I've used this but I know it's worth it after being a lover of many blogs available here already!

I'm in the middle of my A-Level Exams at the moment so it's all a bit stressful and silly.

Just a little low-down on me I guess. Well, I'm 18 and at St Paul's Sixth Form until 21st June when my exams finish for good. I've been there for 7 years so it feels good to be leaving but properly weird too!

I'm the youngest of four kids. One big brother heading the army and two sisters. Although I think my 2nd family is more interesting. My friends are who my life revolves around and I'm sure it will be this way for a long time. I got to choose them and they don't care about the little things. They're amazing really!

Thank you for listening/reading!

See you around people.